Lesson Learned

I wanted to share with you a lesson that I was already aware of, but apparently needed to relearn recently.

Christmas day I left to go hunting with my dad and returned on Sunday. I was planning on spending the rest of my vacation doing things around the house (including some more hunting locally). Bad idea! I have been home for one day and I am already looking for ways to get away again.

So here is what I suggest. Members of congregations, let your pastors take their vacation (even if that means they are unable to get away)...they will be better for it and in turn, you will be better served by a rested (vacationed) pastor.

Pastors, take your vacations...and whenever possible, get away. This is especially important if you live in a parsonage that is next to the church. If you do not get away and stay at home, experience tells me that it is just far too convenient for parishioners to call or come by, effectively ending your vacation.

I'll chalk another one up to experience and consider it a lesson learned (I hope!).

Connectional and Missional...Now that's what I call Church

A couple of weeks ago, I had the privilege of working with 6 other pastors and more than 3 dozen volunteers from 7 different United Methodist Churches from our area to host an Advent event entitled Rediscover Christmas. You can find the article about this event by clicking here.

Here are some other pictures from that event:



7 local churches working together for the expanse of the Gospel...that to me is true connectionalism.

Hosting an event to reach the community with the real meaning of Christmas...that to me is missional.

Doing these things unattached to a church building and moving beyond our comfort zones...that's what I call being the church (as opposed to doing church)!

My prayer is that we will continue to be engaged in connectional and missional endeavors and that others will do likewise. At the end of the day it is about connecting people to Christ, not to ourselves.

As Advent is drawing to a close, I hope that your expectant waiting and anticipation of Christ's birth continues to be blessed.

Amazing Grace

I had the opportunity to visit with another pastor this week at a church that was near his own charge. During our visit, we wandered over to another building and witnessed what is no less than amazing grace.

As we entered the other building, I noticed that there were trash bags all around. On each trash bag there was a piece of large masking tape with family names on them. As we stood at the back of the room and watched, we witnessed a woman in tears as she received a bag with her name on it.

What was in the bag you ask...each bag was filled with toys for the children in each of the families named on the outside of the bag.

You see, a church member followed God's calling to help provide for families in need within her community. As this member worked to gather the names of families in need, she soon discovered that this was going to be more than her little church could handle on their own. They ended up developing a non-profit organization called WARM and partnered with Toys for Tots in their area. When the day came for delivery, the donations of toys and funds made by the church and community (as well as the additional resources provided by Toys for Tots), this vision that started with a single woman reached more than 200 families that didn't have the means to provide gifts for Christmas.

While I often wrestle with the consumerist nature of Christmas in our Western world, I am none the less moved by this woman's compassion and vision to reach people right where they are at. I am hopeful, that the love of giving gifts to families to give to their children (when they cannot give their own) will say something about those of us who claim to be Christian. I am prayerful that the tears of joy that we witnessed with this one woman are a reflection of a group of people being Christ to her in a time of need. And I am convinced that this is no less than amazing grace.

Where have you witnessed God's amazing grace this Christmas season?

More Church Closing News

I know that many of my readers are praying for me and the smaller of the two congregations that I serve as we continue to take steps towards merging with the larger church. And since I have already endeavored to track this process on my blog, I thought I would pass along the latest installment.

Within the United Methodist Church, nothing of this magnitude is official until there is a special meeting called a Church Conference meeting where the District Superintendent is present for an official vote. We had such a meeting at the little church this past Monday. The discussion was limited this go round, and the vote was decisive. The motion passed unanimously to merge with the larger church and it passed without hesitation.

This last meeting was much more surreal than the first meeting. Maybe that is because it was just an acknowledgment of the death that has already taken hold. Perhaps it is because we have moved more into acceptance in our grieving and we have less anger and denial. Regardless of the emotion of the moment (either in their pastor or in the congregation), it is still a bit of a roller coaster ride.

From this point on, I am hoping it will be pretty straight forward. I have already had a conversation with the leadership of the larger church and the consensus was that they would accept the merger when it came time for them to vote. We have weighed the pros and cons, examined the assets and the liabilities, and thought through the next action steps as they relate to the stewardship of these resources.

From here, worship services will be suspended (no longer to take place) at the smaller church after January 4th. Anyone out there want to preach this church closing sermon!?!

After the little church ceases services, we will have another specially called Church Conference at the larger church on January 11th to take an official vote with the DS present on the merger. If that vote is a yes, property and assets and memberships will transfer immediately. If for some reason the larger church declines this opportunity, the conference will take over the little church and be responsible for the disposal or transfer of any assets as they see fit.

I expect that the larger church will still welcome the smaller one with open arms...there seems to be too much history between the two churches for anything else to make sense or take place.

Personally, I have been told a dozen times if I have been told once that this is not my fault. The fact of the matter, however, is that it is happening on my watch. There is a part of me that realizes that this is due to decisions that have been taking place for decades. But that doesn't keep the human being in me at complete bay...what if I would have...what if we could have...what if a different pastor had...to say that these thoughts don't cross my mind would be to suggest that there is no humanity left in me at all. That is simply not the case.

I know that there is a lot for me to learn in this process. I know that God still has incredible things planned for my ministry. I know that a lot of good has come from my ministry here at the little church (including a couple of folks professing their faith)...God continues to move, even in the darkest valleys.

I welcome your continued prayers as we trudge this road of faith.

A Reflection of Grace

For the past 6 months or so, it seems that my little girl has been pushing the boundaries and really becoming her own little person. She has learned how to throw temper tantrums and pitch fits (lovely things!) and she has stubbornly demanded that she get her own way on a number of occasions. This is not unusual for a child of her age (a ripe old 16 months).

What this means, however, is that the days of afternoon naps on my chest have been missing. Evenings of singing and rocking her to sleep have been missing. All the cute, fun, cuddly times of her newborn era were missing.

That was until this past week or so. It is as if she has rediscovered her daddy again. She comes home in the evenings from school and wants to have a book read to her, she is giving more hugs and kisses than before...the other night, at about 2 a.m., she even let me hold her, rock her, and sing her back to sleep.

I have been wondering, after reflecting on these recent moments, if this is anything close to the way that God feels. After all, we all run into times when we say, "that's alright God, I've got this one", or "I think I'll do it my way God." It is not unusual for this human being to even through temper tantrums with God (admit it, you've probably done it too!). Then there are those times that I come running back shouting daddy, daddy!

Maybe this is not making any sense to you, but for me it is just a reflection on God's grace from God's perspective. I see it as a real gift to get even a glimpse of how God might feel when we return to him and climb in his lap and open our arms with the expectation of great big hugs.

I know it sounds corny, but being a parent is giving new insights and perspectives as I think of God as my heavenly Father...it is yielding understanding that I am pretty sure didn't exist prior to parenthood...even if in these early moments of discernment those perspectives are difficult to articulate.

Do you have experiences that vividly alter the way that you perceive God? If so, what are they and how do they affect your understandings?

That's Mine

There is something that I just don't understand. If you give something to someone or something (organization, that is), then it is no longer yours, right!?! I mean, if you take it back after giving it away, isn't that what used to cause fights when we were younger and give us a reason to call each other names (as politically incorrect as they may be) like Indian giver?

And certainly, in a church that has been around for more than 100 years, with many of the existing members being lifetime participants in that local church, you would think that they would understand what giving meant, right!?!

As many of the previous posts note, the smaller of the two churches I serve is voting to end services and merge with the larger church. This past weekend, while directing a major Christmas outreach with 6 other churches (I will post more about this separately with some amazing pictures), I received a phone call from one of those life long members of the little church. I was told of all the things that this individual and their family had done for the church...and then the conversation took a turn that was really unexpected...this individual began to give me a laundry list of things that they wanted back. These were things that had been "given" to the church, but since the church wasn't going to be open any more, the individual said "that's mine" and "I want it back".

Let me assure you based upon my most recent experience, that it is futile to attempt any kind of conversation relating to church assets (and how they would transfer to the other church for their discernment of how to steward them) or to try and distinguish between giving and lending.

At the end of the day, all that was feasible was to announce that any personal property at the church had to be removed this week, otherwise it would be considered an asset of the church and would go in the merger. And wouldn't you know, it didn't even end there. I was then told that so and so gave this and so and so gave the microwave and that they may want it back (a decade later?).

I am simply frustrated at our possessiveness and our lack of trust. I am flabbergasted that we don't practice better stewardship than this. I am disappointed that they can't see that these things may end up being a blessing to those who would take this facility over.

It just makes me wonder when we lost our understanding of what it means to give a gift.

It also reminds me of just how grateful I am that God does not give like we sometimes give.

I would appreciate your prayers, both for me and the members of this church, as we navigate this messy highway of church merger.

Church Closing - A Follow-up

I know that many of you have been both concerned and curious about how it went a week ago at the smaller of the two churches that I serve. Before I go there, let me first thank you for the comments, the emails, the phone calls, and the prayers through this interesting and difficult time. Second, let me apologize for not getting the update out sooner. Last week was a week of community services and meals, turkey frying with the fire department, and then a few days of much needed vacation camping with Bailey and Erica.

I had talked to several people and had found myself still unsure of how to proceed. After a lot of prayer and rummaging through the scriptures, I decided to open our church meeting last week with the opening words of the third chapter of Ecclesiastes:

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

After reading these words to them, I reminded them of a little bit of their history. How they had been an important part of the community for more than 100 years. How people had come to faith and grown in their faith through the services and teachings that had happened through multiple generations. I emphasized the impact that this church has historically had on the kingdom of God. I told them that there was a lot to be grateful for.

Then I told them about the year we were facing. How we are spending (just basic expenses...no programs or special activities) more than $4,000.00 than we are bringing in each year. How the person heading the trustee work (facilities management, maintenance, etc) is hospitalized and probably won't be able to return to those duties. Additionally, I explained that I had accepted the resignation of the individual that had been teaching Sunday school for numerous years (not to mention playing the piano and keeping the books).

With all of the cards on the table, I reminded them of the scripture passage that I had opened with and explained to them that the difficulty of this conversation we were embarking on was that we had to discern what time it was for this church.

After a few moments of silence, I asked if anyone present would be willing to step up into serving in one of the many areas that was going to be needed for the next year. No one offered to serve.

I returned to the discussion about discerning what time it was and told those that had gathered what I had been hearing. How some just wanted the church to be there for when they die...that way it would be their church that buried them...the same church that baptized them. I explained that a couple of folks had asked me about closing or merging with another church. This lead to a discussion that was painful, passionate, sorrowful, and probably long overdue.

One of the most discerning questions was not asked by me, but by the husband of one of our members. He point blank asked them what we were going on for...especially since it had been years since the last time we were actively engaged in missions and ministry that was focused outside of our own survival.

Through tear filled eyes, several members asked about the difference between merging or just closing (in our denomination a merger transfers all of the assets to the church being merged with while a closing relinquishes everything to the Annual Conference. Many wanted to hope that there could still be a church there or that the location could be preserved for the community (especially since it is a historical marker and has significant ties for the community).

After a long discussion, consensus was reached that they would like to pursue a merger with the other church that I serve and that they would tentatively have their final worship services on the first Sunday in January of 2009.

This means that the work has just begun. In the weeks to come, I will be discussing the possibility of merger with the larger of the two churches, holding a church conference for the smaller church to make their voice and vote official before the District Superintendent, and doing what seems like a million other things that need to be done in order to walk this church through their last weeks of life.

A little more than a year ago, I attended a service of closure and deconsecration at a once very large church in Tyler. The words that still haunt me are those spoken by the DS toward the end of the liturgy where he actually said something along the lines of "I hereby deconsecrate this space and release it for uses beyond the church."

I have to admit that there is a wide range of emotions related to this endeavor. They run the gamut from numbness to expectedness, sadness to comfort, anxiety to deep reflection.

I will keep you posted as more comes to pass. At some point in the future, I will run a series of posts discussing the history of this little country church and all the wonderful ways that God has used this place. I think that it is important for us to remember and celebrate all that God has done here in the last 105 years.

In the meantime, I would kindly ask for your prayers for our continued discernment and for the strength and comfort of our members that are making these very difficult decisions.

Shalom,

Russell

Yeserday Was a Very Sad Day

There are some things that can happen in a pastor's life that absolutely break our hearts. Yesterday was one of those days where one of those somethings happened.

One of the churches that I serve as pastor is very small...they have been very small for decadeds. In recent weeks, the health of two of the long term members of this church has headed south. One has been hospitalized or in nursing care for the better part of a month, while the other has gotten to the point that she is only able to come when her daughter is able to bring her. Add to these two, the two individuals that already reside in a nursing home permanently, our membership of 17 is already greatly hindered as far as presence goes on Sunday mornings. Many of the other members have stopped coming for health reasons as well. Add to this the fact that all activities, programs and ministry outside of Sunday morning have ceased, you begin to get an idea of the place that the church is at.

Then comes yesterday. The person that plays the piano, keeps the books, and teaches Sunday school every week said that they were going to have to give up teaching Sunday school effective January 1st. This person has asked countless times for someone to help out by either taking an occasional class or doing the books---each time everyone present respectfully declines.

To be clear 1) one person does the books, plays the piano and teaches; 2) another person opened up and took care of all of the trustee type stuff (they are currently hospitalized); 3) and there is one couple that is responsible for more than 50% of the giving (and they are aging and have talked about moving because their 100+ acre place is too much to handle); the church stands on really unsteady ground.

It is painfully obvious that we are beyond what our consultants would call decline. This particular church would be better associated with a hospice situation than anything else.

This coming Sunday begins a time of deep reflection and questioning within this declining community. It will be a time of asking some very tough questions, that I believe will bring about some even tougher answers and decisions.

Yesterday was a very sad day in the life of this church. I would ask for your prayers as we enter into the chapter that lies ahead.

A Better Church

Most folks that I talk to think that the church could use some improvement. Some think that we have gotten too far away from the gospel. We have been accused of focusing more on entertainment and attraction than we have been on missions and service. We have sometimes placed more focus on the maintenance of organizational structures than we have on spiritual formation or discipleship. It seems that no one is short of opinions regarding the church.

The people that offer these opinions and insights are from many different denominations and relationships involving church. Some are life long members of the same church, while others have been disenfranchised from the church. They come from varying socio-economic and ethnic backgrounds. The thing that they all have in common seems to be that they perceive that the church is in need of improvement.

I spend a lot of time reflecting on these comments and insights, constantly asking myself if there is some way that I can participate in creating a better church. How can I help lead the church into real transformation? How can we lead into a place of outward focus rather than inward focus? How can we be more intentional about discipleship and missions? How can we be more like the people scripture calls us to be?

What would a better church look like?

That's my question for you...What would a better church look like?

I would love to begin a dialog regarding the ways that we can work together to radically alter the ways we do church.

As you consider the aforementioned question, share with us how or what this church would look like:

Where would it meet?
What would the experience be like?
Who would lead?
How would discipleship and missions be intentional parts of life together?
How do you prevent this new expression from becoming another version of the church that we are seeking to improve?
What does worship look like?

I hope that you will participate in this dialog by adding your comments below. As the conversation develops, we will take more time to reflect upon more specific areas within this topic.

So, let's get to it...What would a better church look like?

Comment now, comment often!

Peace,

Russell

Just Wondering

There was a pastor that once said that if we really wanted to know about our relationship with God, there were two places we could check. Before he took us to those two places, he asked how many thought that they had a strong relationship with God. A lot of hands went in the air. He asked a follow up question about whether or not we gave or served in light of or based upon that relationship. There were still a lot of hands in the air. It was now time to check out what we had said.

He first encouraged us to take out our checkbooks and examine the line items that we had written in the register. Take note of all the bills and groceries and gas that is purchased. Take note of all the times we had eaten out and done fun kinds of things. Take note of all the times that money was put away for savings or retirement or for a rainy day. And then take note of all the places there was an entry that put money back into the kingdom (donations to Compassion International, tithes and offerings to our churches, gifts to other nonprofits, gifts to missionaries, etc). He asked what percentage was saved, what percentage was spent on bills, what percentage on fun things or things for ourselves, and what percentage was given to the Kingdom/God.

Then he asked us to think about a normal week (he even said that we could take out our calendars or PDAs if that would be helpful for us). Look at all the time you spend at work, at home, with family, with friends, doing fun stuff, etc. Now look at all the time you spend with God or in service for God. Look at the time spent in church, on missions activities, doing other outreach, studying the scriptures, praying, discipling or being discipled, etc. What percentage of time is spent on work? On eating? On sleeping? On playing? With God or doing God's work?

After a moment, he asked us if our checkbooks and our calendars answered his original questions the same way that we had answered with our hands. You might not be surprised to know that there were a lot fewer hands at this point. His point was that we are a society of people that puts our money (and our time) where our mouths are. If something is truly important to us, we will invest our financial resources and time in those endeavors.

This is a lesson that has stuck with me. As my faith journey has progressed, I have seen correlating changes appear in both my checkbook and my calendar. I believe it to be true, at least for me, that the longer I am on this journey, the more of my time and resources go towards the kingdom.

Have you found this to be true? Is spiritual maturity tied to our schedules (think priorities) and our checkbooks? Why or why not?

New Blog

I just wanted to invite everyone that follows or stumbles upon this blog to view another blog that I have the privilege of being a guest author at.

The new blog is called Grace for Today and you can reach it by clicking here.

There are at least 6 different authors that plan to contribute with some regularity and I am sure that there will be other special guest bloggers to boot.

Please join us as we seek to find and embrace the gift of grace and faith in the most unexpected places.

Peace,

Russell

Catching up

I can't believe that it has been over a month since my last post. Here is what is going on in my world:

I am finishing my second to the last semester of school (doing my internship) to where I can graduate in May with a Masters of Divinity degree (no one told me there was going to be hundreds of pages of writing for the internship!)

I have completed my First Responders training and taken my National Registry Exam (which I passed) and am waiting on the state to send me my license.

I was able to utilize my recent training to help a stroke victim a few weeks ago...yeah God, he made a full recovery.

I have been to and participated/co-officiated a couple of funerals.

I have been traveling to Houston, Longview, South East Texas, Canton, Athens, and other places for work, fun, and school.

I have participated in Town Hall meetings as a clergy person within the United Methodist Church evaluating our new model of ministry in the Texas Annual Conference.

I am continuing my participation on the Apportionment Task Force---a group looking at our current apportionment model and making recommendations to CF & A (the finance committee) in regards to that formula.

I am attempting to get everything done to be eligible for commissioning (one step away from full ordination in my denomination) in May.

I have participated in a health fair, a women's retreat, a garage sale and other local church activities.

I have spent time with Bailey and Erica.

I have been working with 7 other churches on an outreach event called Rediscover Christmas that will occur on December 6th (for more information you can check out our website at www.rediscoverchristmas.org --- the site is under construction and new stuff is being added daily)

And the list goes on and on!

Now that I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I am trying to get back into a regular rhythm of blogging.

I hope that you will forgive the absence and that you will rejoin me on this journey of faith that radically alters us in Christ!

Internet Baptism!?!

I was perusing my Google reader catching up on my latest RSS feeds and came across a posting that shows a baptism being conducted via the internet! You can view the blurb and watch the video of the baptism at Tim Stevens blog (Leading Smart) by clicking here.

I am pretty sure that my Word and Worship instructors would have fits over this...there is no laying on of hands by the pastor, no "official" liturgy out of the Book of Worship, the Methodist Hymnal or the Book of Common Prayer, etc.

Does this fit into our Methodist Theology? More specifically, does it fit in with our sacramental theology and our understanding of orders, etc?

I need to chew on this for a day or two (at least), but I am curious about what your thoughts are too!

Peace,

Russell

What does it mean to do Missions?

I have several friends that work for YWAM (Youth With A Mission) around the country. I have many more friends that are committed to and participate in missions in our country and around the world. I too, am involved in missions. So needless to say, I am having to stop and ponder once again what it means to do missions in light of recent news.

This week, ABC aired a story about YWAM fighting against infanticide in the jungles of Brazil. You can read their brief write up and watch their video here. Likewise, YWAM published an article from their vantage point and you can view that article here.

Personally, I don't have any problems with the YWAM missionaries that live in Brazil and adopted the children that had medical or other issues that would have faced certain death had the missionaries not intervened...for me it is a sanctity of life issue and a no-brainer as far as decisions go. (feel free to offer your own thoughts on this)

What made me really stop and ponder, however, is the undertones of culture clash that run through the ABC account of the story. As a Christian, I have no issue with sharing the good news of Jesus Christ with those we encounter...but the question becomes how much of what we do is "Christian" and how much of what we do is "Westernization"?

For example, we want to feed those that are in need of food. Let's say that an indigenous tribe is a hunting and gathering tribe. Does that mean as Christians practicing our faith that we are called to deliver food that is grown elsewhere to them? Are we called to help them with better instruments for hunting and gathering? Are we called to change them into an agricultural tribe that is no longer nomadic? Or are we called to work to maintain natural habitats to where they have enough area to hunt and gather to support themselves? Are we to do this without uttering the name of Jesus? Which of the aforementioned choices is most Christ centered?

In order for someone to understand and receive the good news is it necessary that their culture be changed as well?

Surely providing clean drinking water, food, clothing, shelter, etc are good things. Surely advocating for the lives of children...looking out for the orphan, the widow, and the others that are marginalized is what we are called to do. Surely these are the things that the gospel calls us to do. But at what cost? Must culture be changed in order for the gospel to be received?

These are just some of the thoughts that run through my mind. In the background I can hear Niebuhr's writings running around in circles screaming...is it Christ the transformer of culture (surely this is preached with great frequency), or is it Christ above culture (surely this is preached with equal fervency), or is it Christ of Culture (yes there are proponents here as well)...AHHHHH!!!!!

I am curious, what do you think? How do we do missions in such a way that allows us to fulfill our mission (Great Commission---go forth and make disciples of all nations, baptizing in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), while doing all the good that we can and doing no harm (which means we have to decide if changing culture is doing harm or not)?

Reaching Out

Something interesting has taken place in the life and ministry of Edom United Methodist Church. About 6 months ago we got our new website up and running (you can check it out if you like at www.edomumc.org) and as a part of this 33 page site there is an area called Soul Food where people can hear audio of the sermons given on previous Sundays and a place where they can request a DVD of the service.

Now this is not a new idea, many churches are living in the 21st century and are live streaming or podcasting their services online. This is, however, a huge leap for us here in Edom.

These services were put in place to serve guests visiting our website, guests thinking about visiting our church, members who are unable (because of travels or health) to attend particular services, and to reach those that are too far away to come to our services.

The people involved felt called to do this, though we were not quite sure of all of the ways that God would use this ministry. Admittedly, our congregation's average age is in the 60's. So unlike many of the services that are available from various ministries and churches, ours is chock full of liturgy, hymns out of the hymnal, etc. To say the least, it is very different from a lot of what is available out there on the world wide web.

Last week, the lady that heads up the DVD portion of this ministry here in Edom received an email from an assisted living facility in Minnesota. They wanted to know if we would send them DVDs of our services. Long story short, yesterday we sent out a package of 30 previous services and have them on the list to mail services out each week.

You might think that after almost 10 years in ministry that things like this wouldn't have such a huge impact on me...but to tell you the truth, I can always use little reminders of God's faithfulness.

I tell you all this to remind you and to remind myself that God can and will use anything, anyone, anywhere for God's own good purposes. Sometimes we see the fruit of our labors in very short time frames and sometimes it is many years later...but God is always faithful.

The most ironic part of all of this (ironic, coincidental, God-thing related...what ever verbiage you want to use here) is that the Sunday prior to this happening I preached a sermon on Joshua that talked about how God was going to increase the Israelite's impact as they crossed the Jordan into the land that was promised to Moses and how God wants to increase our impact in the world too. It wasn't about our financial impact or some personal success, but it was about how God can use us to impact the world for the Kingdom of God if we will only listen and follow.

I am looking forward to our relationship with our new friends in Minnesota and to the many more ways that God's faithfulness will manifest itself in our ministry.

The Chaos of Life

It has been 19 days since my last post to the blogosphere...what can I say, life happens.

In an attempt to get back into the grove of writing, I thought that I would just drop a note to update what has happened in the past 3 weeks.

In the school realm, my last year of seminary is in full swing. I am currently doing a 9 month internship at the larger of the two churches that I have served for the past 3 years. In addition to the folks that are participating on my internship committee from my church, there are 3 from a larger church in a nearby town (where my internship mentor is appointed). There are weekly papers and meetings in addition to full time ministry.

On the fire department front, I recently completed my 6 weeks of ECA/First Responder training and am waiting to take my National Registry test to complete the certification process. I am scheduled to test on October 1st and 12:15. This certification will permit me to run on medical calls even when there are no other medical personnel present. I will have completed all the necessary written and skills testing to perform CPR, oxygen administration, bandaging, splinting, etc. It is the lowest level of medical training (right under EMT Basic) but covers all of the Basic Life Saving techniques necessary for what we encounter in medical and trauma calls with the fire department. In addition to all of this, we have just held the grand opening (after many hours of work) for our new station 1.

On the church front, we have recently had a couple of people join the church (one by profession of faith), held our annual health fair, begun our fall Bible study, embarked on missions work with the youth to provide health kits to Southeast Texas suffering from the effects of Ike and school supplies to Christmas and surrounding islands, voted to approve our consultation report recommendations (and delegated the work to the appropriate groups/teams), voted on a new leadership structure to be implemented in January (more streamlined), and sold some land that we don't use to help solidify the finances of the church.

On the home front, Erica has begun her volunteer work with Alpha Chi Omega (and seems to be enjoying it). Bailey is really walking well now and eating with a fork (she is already growing up way too fast!). The dog and the cat are the normal obnoxiously loving and needy children that they have always been. While we didn't experience any effects of Ike, we did have a flood in our hallway this week from our AC unit...after a couple of phone calls and a bunch of wet towels, the AC man showed up and fixed all the problems.

So as you can see, there have been no catastrophes, just life...but there has been a lot of it in the last three weeks.

So what's going on in your world?

Sin, Evil, and Satan...what do you think?

It has been a while since I have posted! I have been undergoing an adjustment with my new school schedule and getting everything kicked off for fall here at our churches.

I had an interesting experience last week. I went to my interview with the District Committee on Ordained Ministry (DCOM) to be interviewed for the possibility of being passed on to the Conference level Board of Ordained Ministry (BOM) and commissioning for next sprint at Annual Conference.

The meeting was full of laughter and mostly warm faces (I knew a number of people on this committee already) and after some horseplay and some serious questioning, I exited the room and they voted. When I returned, they congratulated me and let me know that I would be hearing from the Conference about completing materials for the upcoming BOM meeting. This is all great news.

The interesting thing that happened to me was that I was questioned rather harshly on my written presentation of sin, evil and Satan. I was told to lighten the language and offered several other recommendations that I am taking under advisement (but not jumping right into action on just yet!).

My concern is that if we minimize our discussion of the destructive forces of sin, evil, and Satan (yes, I said it again) in the world, are we not somehow minimizing what Scripture assures us that Christ has overcome? I mean, if sin and evil are not pervasive, why do we need a savior?

Before I set out to pontificate more about these issues, I thought I would ask what you all think. Here are my questions:

what is sin?
what is evil?
is Satan real?
how would you relate these to your congregation?
Does the way that you discuss sin, evil and Satan impact your understanding of grace, Christ, or salvation?

These are just a few of the burning questions that I have rolling around with the marbles (yes, there are a few remaining) in my head right now.

Let me know what you think.

Humbled, Grateful, and Intrigued - My Breakfast with Tammy

Getting back from vacation is a painstaking task! There are issues to get caught up on, things to fit into your schedule, visits to make, administration tasks that need tending, ministry to do, etc. While it was easy to post the first few days back (or so it seemed), getting back into a regular routine of writing has proven challenging! I wanted to write more about my vacation (and I am about to) sooner, but life took over!

In addition to my time with CRC and Nate, I need to say thank you to my host for most of my week away...his name is Mike. Mike saw to it that I had everything that I needed for a week away from the rest of the world. In addition to come and go status, a roof over my head, my own room, and some really cool roomies (See earlier posts about Mr. Lizard and Cisco and the bunnies), Mike showed extraordinary hospitality (especially in regards to the meals that he cooked...from fish to crab legs to steak to those thrice baked potatoes!). I am forever in his debt for the wonderful gift of refuge he offered by allowing me to stay in his home.

On the rainy day (big tropical storm Eduard...read some sarcasm here...after all, Eduard was a bit of a joke when it comes to Houston/Galveston storms), I was able to spend the afternoon and evening with Robert, Sydney and Danielle. They have been friends of mine for a very long time and it is always a privilege to get to hang out with them. We also enjoyed a fabulous meal together (the two most prevalent themes from my vacation appear to be eating and walking...see previous posts about walking---ie. downtown Houston, the beach, etc). After much talk, coffee, food, etc. we said our goodbyes and went on our way (I do hope that it isn't too terribly long before they come up or we go down and see them again).

I also want to thank Laura and Frankie for opening their lake house to our family and another (complete with 3 very young children!) for a weekend of relaxing fun on the water (well it was relaxing in some ways!). The food was wonderful here as well (I should probably feel ashamed for how well I ate that week, but I am not there...I am very grateful though) and the games were always fun...even when I couldn't seem to win!

One of the greatest gifts, however, came from the friend that I got to spend the least amount of time with - my friend Tammy.

Tammy and I go back to the spring/summer of 2004 when the church she is still a member of hired me as the director of adult and senior adult ministries. She was (and still is) heavily involved in leadership in the church and we had many interactions during my time on staff there. Those in church work (especially positions or denominations that require regular moves) know how hard it is to maintain friendships when going from one church to another (even in the very best of circumstances). I have a few friends from each church that I have served in the last 10 years, but to maintain all of the relationships is quite impossible. When I left this previous post, it was not because there was anything wrong...quite the contrary...I was receiving my very first appointment to my own churches (yes, that's right; plural-two churches). I had only been in my position at this church for about 9 or 10 months when I was certified and appointed to where I currently serve. I often wonder how many at my previous church really understood what happened (they and I all thought that my tenure there was going to be a little longer, even though everyone was aware that I was in the candidacy for ordination process). I have lost contact with so many folks there...but not Tammy. We email, comment on each other's blogs and talk on the phone in a regularly irregular kind of way (it seems that one is contacting the other at just the right time...always a God thing). So it was a real treat for me to get to actually sit down and talk to her face to face again!

Tammy and I are two peas in a pod. We share some of the same passions and challenges and are really good sounding boards for each other. If I didn't know better, I would bet that we are somehow related...we are that much alike in some aspects. In other areas, however, we are considerably different. I think that is what makes our dialog always meaningful. I always come away with a fresh perspective and a nudge or a push towards continued growth. After all, the scriptures do refer to iron sharpening iron, right!?!

My recent time with Tammy has left me feeling humbled, grateful and intrigued. In a recent post on her blog (you can check it out here) she referred to our time together as a cool cup of water. This is positively humbling and apparently exactly what I needed to hear. You see, the front lines of ministry (lay or clergy) can be a brutal place to exist. There have been days that I have received praise for a sermon, lesson, activity, or initiative. There are other days, however, where I have been referred to as a rabble-rouser, instigator, trouble maker, the spawn of Satan (yes, you read that correctly and yes, this is something that someone actually said), etc. Stresses of church growth (or resistance to that growth), not being able to meet everyone's needs (real or perceived), etc., are all challenges that are faced with great frequency (or so it seems to me). At the most stressful times, the negative can seem to far outweigh the positive (even if that is not really the way it is happening). With the current stresses of church transformation, commissioning, internship, one year old, and the like, I must have been in one of those places where the negative seemed to outweigh the positive. To have someone refer to time spent with me as a cool cup of water is a real gift and a real blessing to the somewhat arid sojourner. I am continually humbled at how God uses people, even (or perhaps most especially) me.

I am grateful for the authenticity, openness, and honesty that Tammy brings to our conversations. She is not distanced because I have that "pastoral" disease (you would be surprised how some people react around pastors). Nor is she shallow or superficial. I get the real Tammy (as real as any of us can be), warts and all. That definitely makes it easier to respond in kind!

I am intrigued at her latest questions (some of which I will respond to in comments to the aforementioned blog). I am also intrigued at where God is leading Tammy and the ladies that she ministers to each week. I have to admit, the group that Tammy works with is one of two groups that was (and continues to be) on my heart during my time there at her church. While I don't get the opportunity to be hands on in that ministry, I do get to live vicariously through Tammy's adventures and that just returns me back to gratitude that I at least had the opportunity for a short while to be on the ground floor of that ministry (back when it just started out as a van ministry!).

I hope it isn't going to be another couple of years before we can sit down face to face again...that would be entirely too long.

To those of you that are working at maintaining long distance friendships, I urge you to continue your pursuits. The blessings of having someone to connect with, having an outside perspective, and genuine community are too great to not take the risk and wrestle with the challenges that are inherent in such friendships (staying in touch, face time, etc).

Weighing in on the Christian Resurgence Circle

Now that I have described what happened during my time with CRC, I wanted to throw out some additional thoughts.

First, while I think that CRC is definitely on to something (incorporating much of what is good or great about church, faith, accountability, small groups, missions, ministry, etc), I also think that CRC could never serve as a plug and play model for everyone everywhere (nor do I think that a single expression of faith should embody the entire Church). Of course, I think that is true of all formats or models, not just CRC.

Was it worship? Yes, absolutely. Was it corporate worship? Yes and maybe not; the answer really depends on how you are defining corporate worship. If we subscribe to the understanding that where 2 or 3 are gathered in Christ's name there Christ will be, I would have to say unequivocally that this was worship. Based upon the incorporation of communion (I will say more about this in a moment), singing, scripture reading, study, Christian fellowship, etc., I would have to again agree that this is worship. The difficulty comes in how we define corporate. If we use that term to mean any number greater than just ourselves, then the litmus test is met there as well. However, if every church every where were just like CRC (in the general sense of small size) would there be things that are missed by not participating in an even larger body? That is the million dollar question. Of course all churches are not CRC's, but for those that are formatted in similar ways, are they called to just interact in their small groups, or would a quarterly or some other regular gathering of regional CRC's (or other house churches) be beneficial for the building up of the larger "Body"?

I ask this question because I believe that there is at least one member of this CRC who is currently not affiliated with another "church". As I read and ponder the many debates about meaningful church membership (and watch how it is relatively unmeaningful in many settings), I wonder how important that additional affiliation is. Gabe Lyons in one of his more recent works (unChristian) talks about how more and more Christians are looking for more meaningful expressions of faith. Many of which are experimenting with models similar to CRC and leaving traditional church membership behind. Other members of CRC appear to utilize the group as an extension of what they are participating in elsewhere (having memberships or affiliations with at least two different denominations)...or perhaps the other affiliation is an extension of their time with CRC. Either way, my experience here has caused me to think about church and Church membership (so I am sure that more dialog will occur in the future).

Coming from a United Methodist background, and thinking about being held accountable to the three general rules (specifically attending to all the ordinances of God), I am wondering about CRC's practice of communion. As I stated in a previous post, it had a first century feel as it was incorporated into a full meal for the entire fellowship to enjoy. The question that comes up for me (relating to their practice of communion and the third general rule) is about sacramental theology. At no point was communion described as a sacrament (nor were the elements consecrated in a way that Anglicans and Methodists and others might be familiar with), so in praxis it operates more similarly to the Love Feast or Agape Meal than it does communion in the sacramental sense. So in hindsight, I would ask the group their thoughts about the sacraments. What are they? Are they important to the group? How are they practiced? And who can preside over them and why?

The fact that my time with CRC has instigated some questions in the areas of ecclessiology, sacramental theology, etc. is not a bad thing...on the contrary, it is potentially a very healthy engagement and pursuit. I am sure that it will take time to fully settle in and for me to be in a place to ask even better questions.

In the mean time, let me assure you that my time spent with my new found friends at CRC was worth every minute. I think that some of the reasons that there is success (connection to others, connection to God, faith intersecting praxis and life, a deepening or spiritual growth, etc) is because they operate as an Acts 2:42 church. This, of course, is just my opinion; but based on the limited amount of time that I had with them, here is what I experienced:

-a group of like minded individuals in that they were all looking for ways to deepen their faith
-a group that participated with each other in several missional/ministry activities that have dramatic impacts on the communities they serve and eternal implications in the kingdom
-a group of folks that earnestly sought out the teachings of scripture
-a group of folks that come from a variety of orientations and backgrounds for a common purpose
-a group of people that have understood that reason is not our enemy...they prove this in the way that they approach each week by encountering and critically thinking about ancient and modern texts
-a group of people that ate and fellowshipped together
-a group of people that held each other and themselves accountable to their prayers of intention
-a group that values authenticity and honesty over shallow spirituality and shiny surfaces
-a group that has both experienced the margins and recognizes and serves those margins still today
-a group that has encountered the grace of God and is endeavoring to live authentic lives that are bathed in that ongoing grace

Bill Hybels, in a workshop that he and his group hosted almost a decade ago, said that the marks of a biblical community are: knowing and being known, loving and being loved, serving and being served, admonishing and being admonished, shepherding and being shepherded, and celebrating and being celebrated. I believe that there is great scriptural merit...that is to say that this paradigm of a biblical community rings true in my faith and experience. After only three short hours, these were also the things that mark the Christian Resurgence Circle.

To all of you at CRC that read this, thanks again for an incredibly grace filled experience. Thanks for the hospitality and love that you showed to this strange sojourner in your midst. Thanks for the acceptance and authenticity that was present in our conversations and sharing. Thanks for allowing me to participate in your lives. I look forward to another visit with you all in the future!

Christian Resurgence Circle - The Experience

Acts 2:42-47 says: "They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. Awe came upon everyone, because many wonders and signs were being done by the apostles. All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need. Day by day, as they spent much time together in the temple, they broke bread at home and ate their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having the goodwill of all the people. And day by day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved."

This is my favorite passage in all of scripture. I think that it is so powerful for me because it seems to portray an image of the "Church" that I think has been lost in many venues over the centuries. Over the last 10 years, I have been blessed by experiencing what I would call Acts 2:42 type churches. These encounters have occurred in many different places throughout the U.S. and have had many different 'formats' or 'models', but they have in some way all rang true to the aforementioned scripture (not always 100% literally, but they hit the mark none-the-less).

My latest encounter with an expression of an Acts 2:42 church occurred on my vacation when I visited a Christian Resurgence Circle with my friend Nate. I asked a number of questions before I arrived...format, what to expect, etc. Nate said to think "house church" and so I did (I am sure that that means different things to different people, but at its core you can get an initial idea--we were going to be meeting in some one's home, it would be a small group of people, etc).

Having no difficulty in finding the home (I know that may surprise some of you who have been keeping up with my recent posts), my challenge in this adventure was actually being able to get in to the gated community (someone finally asked me where I was going and kindly let me in). When I arrived, introductions were made and we visited while we awaited the arrival of another person.

I must say that our host for the evening has a beautiful apartment home, but what impressed me most was the thought that seemed to have gone into the evening. There were lights on, but they were few and/or dimmed in the meeting area (don't think darkness, think very pleasant and calming ambiance), which was the living room of the apartment. I say this because what I see, hear, smell, etc., all have an effect on the worship experience (think about those 2 hour long discipleship classes that you have been to that had overly bright fluorescent lights and metal or wooden chairs that were very uncomfortable---or some similar experience---and how that affected your learning or engagement).

As our final person arrived, the liturgist for the evening (this is hugely important...the responsibilities of host, liturgist, ancient text discussion leader, and modern text discussion leader rotate every week) called us together and began what I will call the 'service' for lack of a better word.

Our 'official' time together began by lighting candles that were on the table in the center of everyone, us standing and singing (without music) the words, "Ubi caritas et amor; ubi caritas deus ibi est" (translation: "Wherever there is love, there God is"). This was followed with an extended period of silence and stillness that served to help in centering us for the evening(this would scare the beJesus out of many people...but what a treat this was!). At the end of our centering time, the liturgist rang a bowl shaped gong that was setting on the coffee table in front of us.

The liturgist then played a song for us to listen to and followed it up by asking a Spirit Go Around question which was: "The song offers a number of similar realizations - What was so _____ in the evening, by the morning ______. Which of them rang most true as a realization from your own life?" The individuals of the group were given the opportunity to respond (or not respond) and although it appeared that the responses were to go around in order to begin with, this quickly changed and different people sitting in the circle responded to different questions throughout the evening at different times.

As our opening discussion was brought to a close (this is perhaps the liturgists second most important job---keeping the group on track) we sang a song entitled "Finish Our Work".

The next component of our time together was to discuss and ancient text (that would be scripture passage). The group has been working its way through the Gospel of Mark and we continued that work on this particular evening. A passage was read (by a different person than the liturgist), expounded upon and offered up to discussion with very a poignant question by the discussion leader. This really allowed an authentic intersection of our lives with the scriptures.

The end of the ancient text discussion was filled with more singing as we sang the song "Harvest Time".

We were now about a third of the way through the evening and it was time for a shared meal and communion. As a guest, I was told not to bring anything, but all of the other members brought food to share. It was an awesome feast! And this ongoing act of hospitality unfolded as if it came right out of the pages of scripture. Just as everyone had sat down and began to eat, the liturgist explained that communion was done by serving one another...that we were to offer the elements of bread and wine (they had this really cool blood orange Italian soda for me---Thanks Nate for remembering my recovery!) as we understood them to the person next to them (I know that some of you are asking if it is really communion if the elements aren't consecrated and the order of worship in the UMH, BOW, or BCP aren't used, but that can be a discussion for another time). Communion occurred in the middle of a full meal, with everyone present (makes me wonder if this wasn't what Paul was referring to in some of his exhortations). It had a real first century feel (like I could actually understand that)...better put, it was much more community oriented (often during communion at other churches, it is easy to feel like you have communed with God, but the connection or communion with one another seems lacking).

After enjoying our meal and communing together we moved into the final third of the evening. It was now time to discuss a modern text. The group had been working slowly (read that as intentionally, not lazily)through a book by John Caputo entitled "What Would Jesus Deconstruct?" I was impressed and intrigued by the little portion of the book that we discussed and have added it to my must get for my own reading and study. After the discussion leader for this portion did some reading and expounding, she too left us with a couple of questions to discuss.

As the liturgist brought the evening to a close, we participated in a Prayer of intentions, where we prayerfully answered the question: "What is the one thing you will do in the next week, that will 'Add some teeth' to your spiritual journey?"

Once everyone had the opportunity to respond we closed the evening by singing a Prayer of St. Theresa which focused on us being the body of Christ in the world. What an incredible way to send us forth focused on Christ and Christian service!

Having only visited once, there may be some details that are slightly off, but this is what is emblazoned in my memory of the evening. I wanted to share the experience before I offered additional insights or thoughts...So, stay tuned, as I will have more to say about CRC in the next post!

Vacation Worship and Christian Resurgence Circle

There are some pastors and church staff members that I know, that when they go on vacation, they don't want to be anywhere near a church. There are others, myself included, that look forward to opportunities to be among the worshiping body without the responsibility of preaching, teaching or leading in any way...an opportunity to just go, be, and receive.

My original plan (I know, I know...I plan, God laughs!) was to visit CRC (Christian Resurgence Circle---my friend Nate would say, "think house church") and a couple of other different worship venues throughout the course of the week. I would get the opportunity to participate in corporate worship without the responsibilities of preaching, teaching or leading and that would be a great thing. So what happened to my plan? Simply put, I found no better place to be last week than at CRC. I found that after my time with these wonderful folks, I didn't hunger to go anywhere else.

Now perhaps this was because I was getting reconnected in nature and through talking and hanging out with friends...or perhaps it was because I just needed some down time and the time I spent alone was as filling as the time I spent with people...or perhaps it is simply because God showed up in the first place I chose to worship! I think it was a little bit of all of it.

My going to CRC was multifaceted; that is to say, the facts regarding my wanting to worship corporately without leading are true, but they are not the only reasons. I have a genuine fascination with varying expressions of faith and "the Church". I wanted to go as much as a student as I did as a worshiper and learn what was happening in this place. I knew that and I think Nate knew that too.

I don't have enough time to go into all of the things I want to cover involving CRC (I have to leave in a minute to go to my medical first responders certification class...VFD stuff) right now, but will be posting more about this group either later this evening or tomorrow. There is much to learn and much to share from my time there. I simply want to leave you with this note of heads up and to say that I am grateful for the grace, hospitality, and authenticity that you all (CRC) extended to me while I was there in your midst...it was a real blessing to me and my faith journey!

Breakfast with Nate

One of the things that I loved about my vacation is the time that I got to spend with a few friends of mine that I don't get to see very often. My habit, when I return to Houston, is often to try and see everyone that I know and that can make for a very hectic schedule; one that is impossible to fulfill. So instead of setting myself up to be run ragged and feel like a failure because I didn't get to see everyone, I intentionally kept my schedule down to just meeting with a handful of folks...folks that it had been an especially long time since I had been able to sit down and talk with in person. One of these friends was Nate.

Now many of you have only encountered Nate through my blog postings...you have seen me go on some theological rant or rave that ended in a question or two...only to be followed by often pointed and almost always sarcastic responses from Nate (yes, the comment about baby bashing in worship as a comparison to patriotic displays in worship around the 4th of July was both pointed and sarcastic).

I had to laugh at Nate's latest comment (and of course call him and harass him a bit on the phone) which you can read at the end of my posting entitled "A Day at the Beach". If you want to know about authentic friendship and having someone in your life that will tell it to you the way they see it...that is the kind of relationship that Nate and I have. We don't always agree, but we have a good time processing the disagreements!

It is a sure sign of aging (again, mine, not Nate's) when you can't even remember when and where you met. Nate reminded me that we had taken a class at U of H together, so our encounters at retreats and the like were much later encounters. This was just one more reminder of how fast time moves, but also, how intentionality can sustain friendships over great time and distances.

When Nate and I attempted to meet for breakfast, I had gone too far the wrong direction for the first restaurant we were supposed to meet at when my phone rang with Nate on the other end of the line (I still say the map they had posted on the web was wrong---but more likely, it was operator error on my part!). Apparently the original place we were going didn't open until 11 and we were trying to meet at 10, so he picked another place. I promptly turned around thinking that I remembered the general location of Cafe Brazil (I think that was the name of the place, but Nate will comment and correct me if I am wrong...I hope) , but proceeded to drive right past it. I called Nate and he graciously stood on the corner of the overgrown intersection to flag me down and get me where I was supposed to be. So after a comedy of errors (on my part, of course) we were able to sit down to a wonderful omelet and some even more wonderful coffee and have a conversation.

One of the things I love most is being able to probe and ask questions. And Nate was more than a good sport about all of my inquisitions into the CRC gathering I had participated in a couple of nights earlier and into all of the other work that he was involved with (both vocationally and as an avocation).

We talked about the Bering Academy, Hawthorne, CRC, theology and missions in general, and more. I know that he doesn't labor at Hawthorne alone (a program to feed and build community with street kids), but I am still amazed at the vision that he has for that place and for meeting the needs of this community. It was the little touches like serving this community on real plates and using real silverware that mesmerized me. As was alluded to in our conversation, anyone can slap some hot dogs or a lasagna onto paper plates and place it in front of kids that live on the streets and point them towards the trash can when they are done...but it is a genuine sign of hospitality and sacrificial service to serve the food family style (in real dishes, with real serving spoons, etc) onto real plates, with drinks in real glasses and then be willing to do the dishes week in and week out. Not to mention that it is not just a fast food mentality in the meals that are prepared, but rather a full meal (bread, veggies, main dish, etc).

While some would say that everything costs something, this meal is a genuine act of grace. The kids aren't preached to, taught, or otherwise manipulated while being captives of such a generous meal. Rather, conversations are started and allowed to go where they will. The adage most often attributed to St. Francis about preaching or sharing the gospel and only sometimes using words comes to mind here. It appears that the actions of this group of faithful disciples speak louder than any words that they could offer to these kids.

As is customary regarding time spent with Nate, our breakfast ran over into the lunch hour...time really does fly when you're having fun! We finished our coffee, hugged, and said our goodbyes.

There is something in each of us, I believe, that thirsts for connection, community, dialog, understanding, and grace. Very often it is God that we most need; but even more often, it is God's agents that we first encounter. At least for me, it is only after the encounter that we recognize God's presence within or through God's agents. I needed someone to commune with, I needed someone to think outside of the box with, I needed someone to stretch me; and I am grateful that Nate was available and willing.

While I am sure that there are many encounters during my week away from the sometimes grind of ministry that nurtured me, I am especially grateful for my time with Nate.

Getting back into the groove

It has been a little while since I have done some real active posting. The biggest reason for this is that I spent the last week on vacation, and although I was still in civilization, I had difficulties connecting to the internet from time to time (especially during the times when I was moved to write).

I have much that I want to share with you about my little vacation...fun photos and videos, some thoughts and experiences while meeting with friends, etc...but I will have to do some catch up posting to accomplish this.

As I returned to the work force today, I hit the ground running with multiple meetings and tasks to accomplish. Tomorrow isn't much better time wise (my meetings require me to travel from Edom to Canton, from Canton to Longview and from Longview back to Edom)...needless to say, my time tomorrow is cramped (actually that would be later today!).

I will do some extra postings in the next week or two to catch up (I wrote some of the blogs to be posted in another program and will upload them from there). I want to tell you more about my dinners with Mike and the H's, my breakfast with Tammy, my worship experience with CRC and more...so I will get busy as I get back into the groove of life and regular writing.

So stay tuned!

Sunset at the Lake

I love to watch the setting sun. I am amazed at how God began creation with a light show and how each day begins and ends with such spectacular beauty. But for me, sunsets are more frequently the more beautiful of the two.

My wife will attest to the fact that I am a nut when it comes to a sunset when I have a camera (to give you an example, on our cruise a year or so ago that included Aruba, I took over 200 pictures of a single sunset...made for a fabulous slide show, but was a little over the top to say the least!).

This go round, I was a little less exuberant, but still managed to take a couple of pics the first evening (the first two of the slide show below) and then only 49 of the next evening (some of which were taken really closely together time wise, but with different settings for different effects).

Here are the sunset shots from the weekend at the lake:



I just really better appreciate God's creativity and the beauty within creation when watching the sun set. My question is this: which do you prefer, the setting or rising sun? Why?

A Day at the Beach

Sometimes it seems as though a vacation just isn't a vacation (especially in the summer)without spending some time around the water. During this round of time off, I was able to spend time at both the beach and the lake.

After a not so serious tropical storm, I had breakfast with my good friend Nate (more about this later) and then decided that I would go ahead and head to the beach for the rest of the day.

As I headed south on I-45, I began to get into darker and darker cloud cover and began to get nervous about the sensibility of my beach adventure. It did end up getting almost as dark as dusk, but the severity and duration of the storms that I encountered were minimal (I think Houston got pounded much harder than the island did).

At the time of my arrival on the beach, it rained for about 5 minutes and then it cleared up for the remainder of the day.

Many have asked about how the beach was (the color of the water, the amount of seaweed,etc.) and as far as Galveston goes, it was quite nice...not the crystal clear blue of say Grand Cayman, but nice none the less. The seaweed was minimal and the breeze made the post storm heat very bearable.

The things you come across at the beach are always amazing. People sometimes pondering things that you can't figure out (like the older couple perusing the rocks for overlooked treasures in the pictures below), people with all kinds of tattoos (including some with swastikas), and so on. Sometimes the things you walk across or near are equally interesting. As seen in the photos, there was only one jelly fish that was washed up, there were rose petals left from someone's romantic photo op, there was glass and cigarette butts mixed in with the washed up shells from the ocean, and so on.

Perhaps the most interesting things (as you can also see in the picture) were the rocks that were on my part of the beach and the places where the water had cut interesting patterns in the sand.

My afternoon at the beach consisted of walking up and down the same 1 mile stretch of beach numerous times. It was as if the pattern of my walking slowed to match the ebb and flow of the ocean waves. It was an afternoon of reconnecting to nature in a way that I don't often get the opportunity to do. The occasional swim brought me into close proximity to a variety of fish (maybe I should have taken a pole!). My walk allowed me to greet a wide variety of people (but it was great, because the beach was absolutely not crowded at all). My breaks from walking became tranquil respites of wave and bird watching that turned into great experiences of centering for me.

As dusk began to settle, I returned to my truck and went to dinner at Casey's where I had shrimp gumbo, fish tacos, and fried mushrooms, then off to my home away from home.

I leave you with pictures from the day and this question...where are you able to find centering experiences?



Just a quick note, the guy at the end of the slide show said take my picture...I asked what they (there were several other guys helping to dig and fill this hole with full size shovels) were doing making a pool with the ocean so close and they said that they were burying this guy...I just had to include the pics!

Vacation Day 1

While I am here in Houston awaiting the time to head back north to meet my wife and daughter at the lake, I am enjoying Mike's hospitality. This morning I was able to get up a little later than normal, stay in my jammies, drink two full cups of coffee, and enjoy a little bit of nature...all without leaving the house---and no I am not still in Edom :o)

While here, it is me, Mike and an assortment of creatures that are serving as my roomies for the week. Here are some of my new friends:



After lounging around the house for a while, I headed out to downtown to take a look around and see what was new...I will post more (including pics) later this evening after dinner (we are having steak...yummy!!!).

Monday Afternoon - Still The First Day

I was really disappointed this afternoon. After traipsing around downtown for a number of hours today, I decided that I would stop by a little art gallery on the way back to the house. It was about 3:30 in the afternoon and I was looking forward to visiting an installation that my friend Kathy had on display. As I arrived I encountered a locked door. Being completely stubborn, I opted to enter into an adjoining office and inquire about viewing the artwork. The folks in the office contacted a lady that offices somewhere else in the building and she greeted me and told me that the gallery was closed early in preparation for “Eduard” ($%*$%&!). Apparently, the gallery was concerned that the storm might cause damage to nearby trees and come through the windows of the gallery. As a precaution, things (where possible) were moved away from the windows in anticipation of a bad storm.

After a couple of minutes of begging and pleading, the nice lady let me in for a quick peek at the installations (after all, I had come almost 200 miles and wanted to see the exhibit before it closed on Friday). She explained to me that they would be back open the day after the storm and that at that time all of the lights and effects would be turned back on (apparently one of the installations has words that comes out of it…I am sorry I missed that).

The larger of the two pieces was quite impressive (and massive). I only wished I would have had longer to be in its presence and ponder it.

Although the storm turned out to be a great big dud (especially for Houston---minus some much needed rain of course), I am still grateful for having had the opportunity to experience one of my friends pieces in person. I am looking forward to the next showing that I might be able to get back too.

If you would like to check out her work, you can view some of it on her blog here:
http://kathrynkelley.blogspot.com/2008/08/gnawing-hunger.html

Monday, August 4th - First Full Day of Vacation

Today I decided would be a good day to go downtown and wander around (it is something that I do in most cities that I visit---so I figured, even since I lived here most of my life, I would still go check it out).

Here are some of the pictures that I took (because you know if I have a camera, I am going to go nuts with it!):



It was not the downtown that I remembered from earlier years. The wing of the hospital that I was born in has long been gone (the old St. Joseph’s Hospital building), but it seemed that this trip left little that was familiar.

Take Main Street, for example. Much of what I remember about this area of downtown is different now. Instead of countless displays of propaganda, panhandling, and general homelessness and dirt, I encountered a newly installed train rail system. Several of the stops had fancy water features that would spurt and squirt and varying times. Around these train stop installations were a variety of plants and landscaping installations that dramatically changed the look of the area.

Gone were many of the businesses of old…replaced by restaurants, bistros, clubs and high-rises. Construction abounds in the downtown and midtown area. Many of the shacks that used to exist on the fringes of where these two areas collide have been demolished and building of multi-story condominiums has taken over.

As different as it appeared in many places, there was still some residual familiarity. The Federal Building was still where I remember it. The theater district, although different, had familiar components.

I say all this because this experience gives way to the question of what’s changed more—the city I used to call home or the individual that used to live here? While I am still processing much of what I experienced here (and I am sure I will write more about it later!), I am only sure of one thing…Houston is no longer home. That may seem like an odd realization since I have been gone for over 3 years now, but perhaps this is the first time that it has really sank in…or perhaps something has changed in me that questions whether or not I would want to come back (if given the opportunity).

Where do you call home? Have you ever returned to visit your “home town” and felt different about it than when you lived there (more disconnected, etc)?

On Vacation!!!

I didn't end up getting away from the church and house until after 1:30 p.m. in the afternoon on Sunday. Although I was running late, I was still making good time until about Trinity. I stopped briefly for gas as the front end of a storm began to blow through. Suddenly, after having travelled 100 miles or so, the temperature had gone from 102 down to 71. Although the skies were dark and lightening was off in the distance, it was a welcome change.

The most interesting thing about the front end of the storm (aside from the temperature relief) was the way that the wind was causing the leaves to blow from the trees. As I was headed south, the leaf littered wind was blowing at about a 45 degree angle north into my truck windshield. I am an idiot for not capturing this moment on film...it was spectacular.

Little tufts of dirt would climb vertically from the gravel driveways that I was passing...it was way cool!

Anyway, shortly after Trinity, the reality of the storm set in and most of the rest of the journey was filled with slow moving traffic, a couple of accidents (I wasn't in any of them, nor was I the cause!), and finally a safe arrival in south Houston for CRC (I will post more about that later!).

Have there been times when you have been somewhere and wished you would have had a camera (or gotten it out to snap some shots)? What photo ops have you missed?

Haunting Thoughts

I don't know if you are like me, but sometimes there are just things that end up in front of me that haunt me. They take up residence in my brain and ask for constant consideration. This isn't always a bad thing.

Here are some of the more recent additions:

From John Wesley - the thought that evangelical faith must be marked by evangelical actions (think about your definition of evangelical before lowering the hammer!)

From a blog I read over the weekend (I am sorry that I didn't mark it...I think it might have been from 722 or Mark Driscoll) - "how can we expect to reach the folks that no one is reaching if we are doing the exact same thing as everyone else around us? To reach different folks, we have to do things differently."

Which reminds me of one of my favorite definitions from the recovery world: "insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

And from another blog (again, in my haste to catch up, I missed saving/starring it for proper credit) - "why is it that all church planters seem to plant churches in the suburbs? Why isn't anyone planting churches in urban areas?"

I have lots of thoughts about these and other insights...but I won't bore you with belaboring those points currently (I will wait for some future blog opportunity to do that!).

What I am curious about, however, is what thoughts are haunting you right now!?!

When Harm is Unavoidable

As my profile says, I am a firefighter (and soon to be a certified first responder) and a pastor. I also volunteer each week at a place called Sundown Ranch working with teenage boys that are attempting to find recovery from chemical dependence of all types.

Each of these activities places me in people's lives at times when they are often not at their best. I walk along side of those struggling with sin, experiencing medical problems or other loss due to fire and accidents, and I walk the journey of recovery with families and their children. Despite the problems that can be faced in each of these situations, it is still a huge blessing to serve in these ways.

Each of these activities has either an explicit or implicit nature of confidentiality. These activities also have, however, regulations regarding events or circumstances that must be reported to various agencies (medical, legal and otherwise). Homicide, suicide, abuse, etc are all examples of reportable events.

This past week, I had the difficult duty of reporting such an event.

When the General Rules require us to do no harm and to do good, these are not always mutually exclusive. Nor are they mutually compatible. Sometimes, as my recent experience shows, doing good can be harmful (or maybe that should be restated to say doing the greatest good). In order to do good, I needed to report this incident (this is doing good ethically and morally and doing good by protecting others); but in doing said good, I did harm (in a relative sense I am sure some of you will tell me!) to the individual that was reported. The outcome of what happens regarding a reported event (punishment, justice, or sometimes nothing at all) is completely out of my control. But confidence is still broken and trust tarnished and potential consequences set in motion.

All of this is to say that following the General Rules is not as black and white as it may seem. There are not always cut and dry answers regarding how to put them in practice together. Sometimes, when considering the greatest good or the good of others, doing no harm is not possible.

How do you handle situations that seem to put the General Rules in conflict with one another?

Doing No Harm - The Follow Up

Last week I wrote about a situation that talked about expectations and what to do when those expectations aren't met.

I had some sound wisdom come from my friend at Just Enough Grace for Today and thought I would just follow up with how I handled the situation.

First, I prayed...I prayed for several days before I even sat down to write out my responses.

Second, I sought wise council. Limiting my conversation to just a couple of people that I trust immensely, I advised them of the situation and asked for their input.

Third, I listened. This is perhaps the most difficult of the steps, but I truly listened to what they had to say and incorporated the feedback into the process that follows.

Fourth, I wrote. Because this was a contractual issue and communication was being done via email, it was imperative that I didn't begin with this step. Had I started writing (which is what I wanted to do...yes, even though I knew better...to begin with) first, the results would have been dramatically different and caused harm.

Fifth, I left what I had written alone for a day.

Sixth, I went back and edited the communication piece for both content and size. I was intentional about being clear with what I had expected in the beginning and where the current circumstance had fallen short of those expectations. I didn't use pejorative terms or attack the individual. Instead, I remained professional. At the end of the document I outlined my expectations for the future of our interactions.

The result was a lively, but professional, response and the opportunity for continuing dialog both via email and in person. No hard feelings, no additional harm done, at least to date :o)

Sometimes it is better for everyone involved to take a few deep breaths and think and pray before moving forward. I have not always succeeded in doing this.

I think the only thing that I would add to the list of things that I did would be to get someone else to proof what was written before it was sent.

Are there things that you would do differently?

What's a Pastor?

It seems like it would a reasonably easy question to answer, right? I am not so sure!

After several years of pastoral ministry (and many more years of additional lay/staff ministry that I and some others would consider pastoral---although it was not under appointment) I am finding that "pastoral" is very contextual in meaning.

In the churches I currently serve, there are expectations of a pastor in the areas of preaching, teaching, administration, evangelism, church growth (not equivalent to evangelism, but that rant is for another post), relationships, study, spiritual growth, counseling, and the list goes on ad infinitum.

Having served a very large church, three mid sized churches and one very small church (some suburban and some rural) I have come to recognize that the expectations and understandings of this role differ based upon geography.

I also think that these definitions and expectations differ from generation to generation.

So here is the question of the day: What is a pastor?

I would love to hear about your expectations, definitions, and understandings of pastors. What makes for a good pastor? What makes for an ineffective pastor? Are the expectations that we place on pastors (those our churches pay for this job) different than the expectations we place on laity (after all, isn't everyone baptized into Christ a minister...think hear of the "priesthood of all believers")?

Let me know what you think...and of course, I will write more about this in the near future!

My Future with the Church

There are a number of churches that have really impacted me over the years since my return to church life. I have been thinking a lot lately about each of their impacts and praying for some discernment on what this might mean for my future as a pastor.

Mercy Street was the first church that I held membership in after about a 15 year absence from church rolls everywhere. It is the place where I was accepted right where I was at and loved when I couldn't even love myself. It was the place that really communicated the gospel to me in ways that I was able to understand it. And it is the place that I encountered Christ as my Lord and Savior and gave my life to him in ways that I had never been able to do before. It is a place where you can truly get a glimpse of heaven as addicts, alcoholics, workaholics, real people with real problems and genuine faith get together to worship together and grow in their relationship with Christ. I had the opportunity to work for this church as an intern and it is by far one of the best things i ever did.

Chapelwood United Methodist (the place where Mercy Street meets) deepened my relationship, honed my gifts, recognized graces in me that I was unable to see and taught me a lot about service and teaching as I worked and volunteered with them for many years. They have supported me in my call to pastoral ministry and have been a continued blessing in mine and my wife's life.

Terrace United Methodist was another church that impacted me. As we began to move from just feeding a group of "sheltered" folks on an annual basis to actually living with them in mission and ministry throughout the year, I learned a lot about vision and compassion...and in hindsight, probably more about how to cast vision in healthy and non-conflictive ways. The real blessing has been to watch what has happened with the church as the laity have really stepped up and owned this vision.

Glide United Methodist Church is a church in San Francisco that has had a part of my heart since I first visited there many years ago. It was on that visit that I first learned of their daily downtown ministry. It was on that visit that I witnessed and participated in worship with other tourists, transvestites, homeless folks, business people, Asians, African Americans, Hispanics, prostitutes...a smattering of races and social and economic backgrounds all under one roof for worship...surely that is what heaven will be like!

Lagniappe Presbyterian Church also dramatically moved me. After the storms that pounded the Gulf of Mexico a few years ago, the pastors and staff of Lagniappe moved in and began to serve the people that had lost homes and businesses in genuine ways. They continue in the rebuilding efforts to this day. We participated in a week long mission trip down there and I am amazed at the way that this church serves as Christ to the world...going out to the ones that are in need and serving them where they are at. It is a look at the great commission that is in your face and radically Christ centered. I can't imagine anyone serving with them in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi and not coming back a changed person.

My time here at Edom United Methodist Church has taught me a lot about being a pastor and a lot more about my own wiring and spiritual gifts. Because of my experiences outlined above, I am recognizing more and more my desire to be more connected to those in need. That's probably why when we took the youth to Houston we worked at Medical Bridges, the Bread of Life, and handed out care packages to the homeless in the wards of Houston.

It is clear (clearly muddy, anyway) that my call is being shaped and defined by the least in our midst. I have been having some really clear visions of the church and how I would like to serve. I continue to pray for discernment and guidance...and it is been occurring to me that a church plant might be involved in the future. What would it look like to move into an area and establish a church that serves its community 7 days a week? What would a genuinely authentic community of faith look like in areas that are impoverished or otherwise in need?

I am going to meet next week with someone who is planting a church with the United Methodist Church here in the Texas Annual Conference to talk about these things and see what the process looks like in our denomination. I am also talking to those who have transformed or served established churches that have a real service orientation as a part of their discipleship process. I am trying to remain open to what God is doing. I am anxious and excited to see what the future might have in store and I will update you as this process continues to unfold.

Tell me about your vision of the church and your participation in its life and ministry. What makes a church a church? How do you serve or expect to serve in the future?

Until next time,

Russell

Doing No Harm

Doing no harm is more difficult than it seems sometimes!

There are situations that I am sure we all encounter, where the very first thought or easiest course of action is to lash out at the individuals that are involved. Obviously, anger is not the best way to react or interact with anyone...it is harmful (violating both the first and second General Rules) and gets us absolutely nowhere.

So what do you do in situations where expectations aren't met? Is it different if the situation involves a contract between you and someone else? What do you think are some good guidelines for doing no harm in these type situations?

Let me have all of your non-harmful conflict resolution thoughts!

Peace,

Russell

Doing Good in Our Family

My wife and I were over at church recently for an evangelism meeting. In the course of pre-meeting conversation, time off/days off came into play. I boldly stated (erroneously, I might add) that I take time off. My wife, being one of the greatest accountability partners I have, promptly said out loud something along the lines of "no you don't."

As the conversation continued, she recognized that at times I do take time for myself, but when there are big projects happening, I do a very poor job of this. For example, when we were developing the new website for the church, I spent every possible moment writing code, playing with widgets, testing applications, etc. I worked on it during the day, before dinner, after dinner, on days off...you get the point. I was completely engulfed in the project at the expense of time with my family.

My wife, as usual, was very right. I do not always do a very good job of taking care of myself (or them) by taking my days off as days off. Sometimes this is difficult to do because we live in the parsonage (basically in the church parking lot) and when you live that close to the church, it can be difficult some days to get away from "work".

It can also be difficult because as pastors, some of what we do we consider 'volunteer' work for the church. In other words, if we had another job, we would still be doing some of the things for the church that we are doing, even if we were not on staff. So pastorally speaking, it can be blurry what is volunteer ministry and what is 'work' related ministry (I am still not convinced that there is a clear line). Additionally, I have spent the last 3 years working on my Mdiv degree and taking 12 hours in the spring and 12 in the fall. This is insane I know, but going to school full time, pastoring two churches, and having a family is tough to do with only 24 hours in the day. Unfortunately, with most of the folks that I know, family is always (just as in my case) what seems to suffer the most.

Well, part of doing good has to be doing good towards our families (going back to the living the General Rules). So in an effort to correct this in my life, my wife and I made plans for time in Dallas last weekend (we went in to be with our friend Stacey and her girls...her hubby was out of town on a mission trip) and this weekend we are going to go to the lake with my folks on Saturday.

I have to admit, when I run so hard that I run around my family, I am the one missing out. Not to mention that it is nice to unplug occasionally and just be. Taking time off and away this past week has reminded me just how important it is to me, my family and my ministry.

My future plans for doing good regarding the family (or an application of doing no harm and doing good) is as follows:
1) take my days off as a days off
2) except on nights where there are unavoidable church meetings, spend the hours between 5:30 and 8:00 p.m. with them (if there is something that absolutely has to be done, do it after Bailey has gone to bed and I have hung out with her and Erica).
3) Find babysitters and get back into a regular pattern of date night on Friday evenings
4) Start planning the family camping trip for November
5) continue to be in the cooking rotation (more about this in another post)

I would love to hear how you are balancing family, ministry, work, etc in your life!

Peace,

Russell