For the past 6 months or so, it seems that my little girl has been pushing the boundaries and really becoming her own little person. She has learned how to throw temper tantrums and pitch fits (lovely things!) and she has stubbornly demanded that she get her own way on a number of occasions. This is not unusual for a child of her age (a ripe old 16 months).
What this means, however, is that the days of afternoon naps on my chest have been missing. Evenings of singing and rocking her to sleep have been missing. All the cute, fun, cuddly times of her newborn era were missing.
That was until this past week or so. It is as if she has rediscovered her daddy again. She comes home in the evenings from school and wants to have a book read to her, she is giving more hugs and kisses than before...the other night, at about 2 a.m., she even let me hold her, rock her, and sing her back to sleep.
I have been wondering, after reflecting on these recent moments, if this is anything close to the way that God feels. After all, we all run into times when we say, "that's alright God, I've got this one", or "I think I'll do it my way God." It is not unusual for this human being to even through temper tantrums with God (admit it, you've probably done it too!). Then there are those times that I come running back shouting daddy, daddy!
Maybe this is not making any sense to you, but for me it is just a reflection on God's grace from God's perspective. I see it as a real gift to get even a glimpse of how God might feel when we return to him and climb in his lap and open our arms with the expectation of great big hugs.
I know it sounds corny, but being a parent is giving new insights and perspectives as I think of God as my heavenly Father...it is yielding understanding that I am pretty sure didn't exist prior to parenthood...even if in these early moments of discernment those perspectives are difficult to articulate.
Do you have experiences that vividly alter the way that you perceive God? If so, what are they and how do they affect your understandings?
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Hmm Perceptions of God.
I remember being on a Silent Retreat in the North of England and I was praying the story of Zacchaeus. In the Ignatian tradition I was imagining myself as Zacchaeus, frustrated at the crowd, climbing a tree to get a good look at Jesus.
I was really enjoying the creative aspect of the prayer time. That I wasn't really to concious when I said to myself '...and Jesus comes around the corner, into view'. I was SO surprised by how Jesus entered into my subconcious that I fell out of my imaginary Sycamore Tree!
My brain created an 'Attractive Jesus', a 'Jesus' that I would want to be friends with and be seen in public places with. Someone who was not an embaressment.
I know that Jesus was like that intellectually, but emotionally I had always felt some resistance. That one encounter in prayer changed my emotional response.
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